What happens when a blog comprised of Giant and Steeler fans, both, miss the playoffs. Bitterness. Jealousy. Rage. And a little bit of contempt. So arrest me, because I'm going to shit on every god damn team in the playoffs. And you assholes in Indianpolis, San Diego, Minnesota and New Orleans. Yeah, you'll get yours next week.
Every sports fan can agree that there a few fanbases that everyone else despises.A team so evil that it caused sworn enemies to fight together. A team that causes the biggest rivals to quit bitching and join together in arms. Front running, loud, obnoxious and everywhere. The epitome of garbage. Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the Dallas Cowboys and their shit eating fans.
They have a meddling owner with such a boisterously loud ego that he’s now front and center with no one to get in his path. No TO. No Romo. No Parcells. JERRAH JONES WOO DOGGY is the epitome of Cowboy football and why not. He’s everywhere and you hear that he’s everywhere. He’s an oil tycoon. A rich bastard and an overall douchebag that attracts douchebags: Jimmy Johnson, Barry Switzer, TO, Irvin, Pac Man, Deion, and the list goes on and on. YEEHAW. And he’s a fucking bumpkin. I think that’s what I hate most about him as opposed to any other owner in sports.
It’s the overall presentation - ego, omnipresentness and a GAWDAWFUL hick accent. Have you heard this cum dumpster talk. Everything has a yeehaw at the end of it. Wikipedia also says, here’s married to his cousin. Disgusting.
And America’s team? Did Jerry Jones coin that? Because really, I don’t see how the Dallas Cowboys could conceivably be America’s team? You really think America is a bunch of flashy, lazy, overpaid, pretty boys who come up short when in matters the most? HEY WE WIN WARS. Cowboys haven’t won shit since Neil O’Donnell gave them Superbowl XXX. Everyone hates their guts.
The rest of the team is filled with equally capable douches:
Poor Wade Phillips. No matter what he does. No matter what he says. He just ends up looking like a sad pathetic fat fuck in the end. And if he loses again, adios fat boy.
Then there is Tony H. Romo. Is there a man no universally despised then Tony Romo. First, he squanders two of God’s gift to American in Carrie Underwood and Jessica Simpson. Yet, throughout all of this, he is now the big winner because once again his team is in the playoffs. I don’t get it. I’d rather be choker and still get fucked by Jessica Simpson. So what? She’s dumb. SO ARE YOU. As such, Mr. shit eating grin himself, gets no such props from me. He is a choker and always will be a choker. Wait until, he doesn’t get that great protection. Wait until the games are a little closer. Wait until Romo needs to win the game for his team. Yeah, that’s not going to happen and I can't wait for it to happen. HOPEFULLY in that brand new billion dollar shitbox stadium.
And what’s the deal with Miles Austin. This guy comes out of nowhere and is now the Cowboys number one receiver. He also looks like Baraka from Mortal Kombat 2 .
Hey, how about that Roy Williams trade. That’s really working out well for you, isn’t it? Shitheads.
Patrick Crayton? Way to be the Cowboys’ version of Freddie Mitchell. Make a fucking play when it matters before you start opening your mouth.
Bobby Carpenter? The less talented version of GAY JAY Hawk. How’s that pick looking Cowboys. BUSTTER.
How about Keith Brooking? Thanks asshole for being a POS in coverage for the Falcons last year. You cost me $200.
Jay Ratliff needs to stop acting like a Neanderthal every time he gets a sack. Act like you’ve been there.
Frankly, the only good thing about the Cowboys is that they have the Cheerleaders. And since I don’t have the Cheerleaders well I lose. And by lose, I mean shit on the Cowboys.
Now, let me get to the worst part of the Cryboys franchise. Their fans. You think your bandwagon-jumping ass deserves superbowl success? Sorry, no. It doesn’t. Thankfully, there is a salary cap now so you can buy players and or keep them like you could in the 90s. Thus, we are freed from the clutches of bandwagon ‘boys fans just to “root” on their team because there in the playoffs. Why on earth, can most of their fans only name 3 players. Why does 75% of said fan base only has Romo jerseys. How come no one can remember what happened to this before 2007. Because, they aren’t real fans. Always and forever. When the team loses, who cares? Are the Lakers playing later? That’s the Cowboy fan mindset in a nutshell.
Pathetic. Rot in hell Cowfuckers. I hope you guys never win in the playoffs again. 1996 forever!
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